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Trying to decide whether or not I'm gonna start this over or not. My ex is in it that's why. Love the idea: got to go to collage to get cut and pasted into society. 

Unabashed Pronoia Therapy

 #12: To many people, "sacrifice" is a demoralizing word that connotes deprivation. Is that how you feel? Do you make sacrifices because you're forced to, or maybe because your generosity prompts you to incur a loss in order to further a good cause?

Hmmm... no one really forces you to make sacrifices...you force yourself...


Big Smile

 One of my greatest joys today was holding the door for someone.  She really appreciated it.  

Jul. 12th, 2011

 Mom and Dad didn't like outbursts in public and my mind interpreted it as it was not okay to show e-motion in public.  Want to change that.

Slowly becoming all right with showing a smile in public.  What about the other e-motions?  "Good" and "bad"?

Identity Crisis

 I feel like I am having an identity crisis where I am coming to realize that I don't know anything.  Only a fraction of something, which is made of mostly nothing...

I. feel.  like.  I'm.  going. crazy... 

Confidance! Dance! Dance!

 How can someone turn false confidence into real confidence? Hmmm....



Procrastinating on Porpoise

Mom is getting on to me about the dishes.

Can't wait until she goes to work.

Will do the dishes then...or around then.

Not doing them right now 'cause when I'm down there she gets on to me about wearing boys pants.


I would like to read more Rilke and Mary Oliver

Scorpio Moon

Moon in Scorpio— Spells for sex, death, initiation, transformation, regeneration, renewal, consecrating an athame or any tool which holds power, banishing, forging a group identity, secrets, research, uncovering hidden or lost things, developing psychic talents, will and willpower, magick in general, black magick, divination, contacting the other planes, contacting the dead, morals and morality, purgings and purification through suffering, exorcism, hypnotism, energy workings, nuclear power, warriors and fighters, taxes and insurance, will and willpower, This is the sign when the Moon is weakest and least effective.

Scorpio rules merging with another, emotional truths, hidden talents, ritual magick, taboos, surgery, recycling, transformative experiences, rebirth, obsession, intensity, solitude, solo workings, workings with two people, noble motivations, sneaky tactics, extremes, mastery of the self, courage, dealing with crises, warriors and military, tactics, paranoia, bluntness, the occult in general, secret societies, accepting yourself-warts and all, integrity, soul mates, dirty jokes, uncovering secrets, mortgages and credit in general, underground water, swamps and water that is not potable, brackish or polluted.

I disagree with the moon being least effective in this sign. It just means you have to work harder. I believe hose that come from the lowest point can rise to the highest point - and those that do do this can have the benefit of understanding those at the bottom - a very strong point that a lot of leaders do not have.



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July 2011


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